Category Archives: Suffering

A time to run!

Identity, Suffering, , , , , , , ,

“You’ve got to face your fears! You have got to face your demons. If you don’t they will haunt you all your life!”

We have all heard this kind of advice at some point in our lives whether that be personally, in a famous autobiography or perhaps on a cool fighting movie or something! We can’t spend our lives running away from things, but sometimes there is a time or a season to run away…

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4500 miles across the pond!
As you know in our case God opened up the way for us to literally move 4500 miles away from a very difficult time in our lives in London (see previous posts). For 9 months after crashing and burning out,  I held out as hard as I could to stay in London, to keep my family in our home and in our world! I was clinging to what I thought was best and most precious to me, but what we really needed was to somehow get away… After we arrived in Washington I came across this verse from the story of Mary and Joseph and noted it in my journal –

“An angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Rise, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you, for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.” (Matthew 2:13)

Joseph and his family were diverted away from their home town in Bethlehem as part of God’s protection and rescue plan. And according to commentaries it seems that they may have stayed in Egypt for about 7 years rather than a few months before returning home.

God told Joseph and his family to run away!
What I found really interesting about this was that in this situation God does not tell Joseph to stand strong against an enemy attack. He doesn’t tell Joseph to fight the potential danger that was soon to come to his family. God tells him to flee. To run away and get the heck out of there!

Why is this taking so long God, Arrrr!??
God often brings us out from a dangerous or chaotic place in order to get our attention from all the noise and begin a process of healing. That process for me was and continues to be a long process!

At times over the last year I have gotten frustrated expecting that surely by now God would have me and my family all fixed, delivered and sorted from every problem in life! But it hasn’t been that way. “What’s going on God?! Why is life still so hard? Come on it’s been like 2 years!”

David was on the run from Saul for 8 years!!!
We read in 1 Samuel 21:10-15 that David ran away from Saul in fear of his life and went into a season of hiding! He was a fugitive on the run. What I didn’t realize was that David was most probably in this season for 4-8 years according to different scholars! I just always thought of it as maybe a few months reading the quick snapshots of the story in 1 Samuel. But no, David entered a season of running, of hiding, and of hardship for up to 8 years.

How can this happen to God’s chosen King?
Hold on a minute! How can this be? How can a righteous person like David with an incredible calling on his life be in such a situation? I cant imagine prince William (the next in line to the British throne) being on the run from danger and living away from home because of someone wanting to kill him. Why did God allow David to be in such a terrible situation? It just seems so wrong and unfitting for a King to be! He should be protected. He should be honored as a king, not left to be a fugitive on the run from a killer!

We are also God’s chosen Kings and Queens to be!
As born again believers in Jesus we are our now part of God’s royal family!

“And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory…” (Romans 8:17 NLT)

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We are joint heirs with Jesus who is the King reigning on the throne of heaven. Just as Prince William (and Harry) is heir of the throne by way of birth and ‘sonship’, so we as believers in Christ are born again into God’s royal family and are heirs of heaven’s throne. By grace we will inherit and share in Jesus’ royal status as King. This is amazing!

“I’m gona live like a child of the King”
Every now and then I come across the motto, ‘I’m gona live like a royal child of the King’. What people usually mean when they say this is that they are claiming their God given rights to live a life of victory, freedom and blessing in every aspect of life. And while this is true of who we are in Christ, it is not the whole truth this side of eternity. You wanna live like a child of the King? Are you sure? Do You want to live like King David who ran for 8 years from Saul? What about our ultimate King – Jesus Christ? He suffered more than anyone! He was driven out from his home town. He was crucified on a cross!

God’s royal heirs must share in Christ’s sufferings…
Surely God won’t allow his royal children to suffer and find themselves on the run from danger… will he?? Here is the next bit of our wonderful Romans 8:17 verse speaking of our royal heirship with Christ –

“… But if we are to share his glory, we must also share in his suffering.” (Romans 8:17 NLT)

I liked the first bit of this verse about us sharing in Christ’s royal glory but this bit… well let’s say I didn’t expect to read this. This verse is not saying that suffering somehow earns or merits us salvation! But it means that a mark of being a follower of Christ is that we will suffer and experience hardship. I don’t believe this ‘suffering’ is relegated to just persecution for the faith as sometimes people may say. No, this verse is is talking about all Christians. It’s part of the Christian life this side of eternity!

Take comfort that you are Christ’s!
Suffering will come to us and God will purposefully allow it at different times and in different seasons of our lives. Why? Well that’s another blog! But for now here is the point – when you are suffering, when you are on the run from a certain situation in your life, when hardship goes on for a very long time – you can take some refuge in knowing that this is biblical! You are in good company with all the brothers and sisters in Christ across the world!

“Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.” (1 Peter 4:12, 13 NLT)

If anything our sufferings are perhaps meant to encourage us that we are truly God’s royal children sharing in Christ’s sufferings… I know for me that this theme has helped me find purpose and meaning in the midst of long term suffering and in finding an answer to the question of why Is this happening! I have felt at times a strange sense of belonging to God because of the suffering. A sense or confirmation of being one of God’s chosen and adopted children… a royal heir of Christ!

Suffering is very close to God’s heart

Grief & grieving, Suffering, , , , , , , , , , ,

Having had the whole summer of 2012 off and continuing into the autumn term still unable to work you might be wondering what on earth was I doing during that time! Good question… I don’t know either! Well, actually most days to be honest were simply about getting through. Most days were rarely productive, meaningful or purposeful for me. If I could I would try and get out on my own where I could walk in a park or go to the coffee shop. My regular get away was my very own local park at Alexandra Palace, just 10 minutes away from our home in London.
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I loved going there and taking in the silence, the beautiful scenery around me and the London landscape in the distance… I miss that place very much! I have a lot of memories there from going on my weekly prayer walks seeking God’s vision for the church to taking Noah to feed the geese at the lake, (he would hide behind my legs so he didn’t get bitten, lol!). I especially enjoyed sitting at the coffee shop there which was right by the lake. This is where I would write my weekly sermons gearing up for the big Sunday. These were such exciting times for me where God spoke to me and led me (including making a decision to move into the Cineworld movie theatre for our Sunday meeting place, that was pretty exciting!).

An empty chair
And so it was a strange thing for me to continue going to Alexandra Palace park sitting in the same chair in the coffee shop but with no sermon to write… and no sense of excitement and adventure anymore. I remember sitting in my usual chair drinking my coffee, looking out the window at the lake and feeling this deep sadness over me. Oh, how I deeply missed what I used to do and yet had no ability or health to continue anymore. I’ll be honest with you now and say I have a number of tears rolling down my cheeks as I am writing this! These are still very precious memories to me.

I cried so hard!
By the time it got to December 2012 (just before we were on our way out to leave for America) there was one occasion where it all hit me – the loss of everything! I cried so hard! I am not talking about a few tears, but real crying from the depths of my heart, like a baby when they lose their breath!  It wasn’t simply some ‘job’ that I was losing. It was history and memories. It was dear friends. Team mates who had sacrificed so much to come with us on the adventure. It was a growing congregation of people whom I loved. It was saying goodbye to a dream and a vision that felt such a part of my heart. It was saying goodbye to our next door neighbors who I loved dearly! Most of all it was saying goodbye to our whole world and home.

Suffering is very close to the heart of God
I was at Costa coffee one time meeting up with a close friend who had been a real support to me during the church planting years and who was part of our church. He said something very profound to me, “Mark, you know suffering is very close to the heart of God.”

Jesus experienced deep loss and grief. He wept at the death of Lazarus his friend. And can you imagine the pain and the grief he experienced as he watched his dear mother crying in front of him as he hung the cross dying? And what about the perspective from God the Father? Can you imagine watching your own son being tortured, humiliated and put to death? In the film the Passion of the Christ (by Mel Gibson) there is a fictional bit added to the scene where Jesus finally dies on the cross. A big tear drop from the sky falls to the ground. Though this is an added touch I think its appropriate as God the Father cries for his dear Son. And yes both Jesus and the Father knew there would be a resurrection in three days time but the suffering, the loss and the grief experienced was nonetheless real!

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:15, 16 ESV)

Jesus deeply connects with our pain
Perhaps the translators should have swapped the word sympathize for empathize. The point is that Jesus’ ability to emotionally connect with our sufferings and temptations comes from his very own experience! He is not trying to understand or imagine how we might be feeling… he knows and identifies with our weaknesses, sufferings, griefs and temptations. He’s been there.

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Sometimes the only help one can offer someone suffering from grief is to listen, connect, understand, and cry with that person. Jesus is able to do that with us when we experience loss and grief whatever the depths.

A note to pastors and others…
Sometimes in life that ‘resurrection’ or restoration doesn’t come till much later and in the case of those who have lost a loved one – their ultimate hope will be heaven. As pastors and as friends of those who are grieving we need to learn how to sympathize. Yes quote the hope that we have in Christ. But first learn to sympathize with the suffering person. Jesus doesn’t always raise ‘Lazarus’ from the dead, but instead he points us to our future hope of glory and in the meantime sympathizes and cries with us in our grief and sorrows. So lets learn to do that if we are to be good friends and pastors for those who are grieving.

If you are grieving today…
If you are grieving today let me comfort you. Jesus is inviting you to come near to him. He will not condemn or judge you but rather he will embrace you with his scarred hands. He will cry with you. He will connect and understand you more than anyone else in this world is able to. When you are tempted to give up on God because of the terrible things that have happened (and that you can’t reconcile with a God of love!) – Jesus understands this full well. He too was tempted to give up on God through the week of his suffering passion. He was tempted to throw in the towel. He was tempted to curse God for his apparent abandonment. Of course he overcame and never gave in or sinned.

There maybe no apparent solutions to your loss. But Jesus is ready for you. You can cry… you should, its good for the soul and in it you may just find the God of all Glory crying with you!